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That's Just Rude

Julia Cook - Boys Town Press Author

  • Inflated self-worth – People who are self-absorbed don’t value others except as a means to fill needs and desires.
  • Low self-worth – Being hostile and defensive is often a sign of insecurity.
  • Materialism – The quest for money and possessions is more important than showing kindness.
  • Injustice – An injustice may create feelings of envy, demoralization, depression or outrage.
  • Stress – People who are overworked or overwhelmed may be indifferent to those around them.
  • Anonymity – “If I don’t know you, it doesn’t matter how I treat you.”
  • Not needing others – We are becoming content with electronic isolation.
  • Anger
  • Fear
  • Mental health problems

Here are a few more reasons that are not on the Civility Solution list:

  • Some parents were not taught to have good manners themselves, and they may not recognize what they are doing wrong or know how to teach manners to their kids.
  • Some parents may be so wrapped up in their own lives that they fail to recognize or have the energy to care about their child’s interactions with others.
  • The parents of a rude child may feel like they’ve lost control and don’t have the ability or energy to discipline their child.

Being on the receiving end of rudeness has its own negative effects. Being treated unkindly by others can cause anxiety, depression and a loss of self-esteem. It also causes stress. In a recent study through Baylor University, it was discovered that when parents are treated rudely by others in the workplace, stress levels increase. That stress then follows the parent home and causes unhappiness, rudeness and stress among family members.

According to Paul Tough (How Children Succeed, 2012) stress in the home causes adverse childhood experiences that can impede a child’s ability to develop and sustain skills such as cognitive flexibility (thinking outside the box to solve problems) and cognitive self-control (delayed gratification.)

It’s clear to see that rude behavior is not the path you want your child to follow. In my next blog, we’ll look at ways parents can teach their children how to make interacting with others a positive and fulfilling experience.



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